Mothers of the Year – Tanorexic Mom and Pink Bikini Hooker Mom

Oh, how proud I am to live in the Northeast these days. We are blessed with two fabulous mother role models  just in time for Mother’s Day. How inspiring.

Some of you moms out there are worrying about your parenting skills. My friend Michelle Lamar has been writing about raising teens on Huff Po this week and lamenting about whether or not she is making sound choices. Have no fear, Michelle, these two beauties will make you feel much better.

Julio Cortez/AP Photos

Tanorexic mom? That would be the name of the new action figure doll from herobuilder.com that is modeled after the woman from Jersey who got all sorts of attention for obsessive tanning. The story started with an accusation of taking her little one into a tanning booth with her, but the media became so enthralled with her that she hit SNL this past weekend with a sketch that had me in tears. (I loved the toast part… I am such an infant)

Fox News

Then there is Pink Bikini Hot Dog Hooker Mom (name just rolls right off the tongue, doesn’t it?) This morning as I poured my first cup of joe I was assaulted with the image of this lunatic. And, scary but true, she lives not far from where I grew up. As she told us so wisely, “Stripping and prostitution are 2 different things.” Ok, hon, so where does lap dancing fall? Better yet, where does lap dancing after luring the guys to your hot dog truck in a pink bikini. Talk about self esteem… I wish I could see what this chick sees when she looks in the mirror. I simply loved her closing statement on the news, “Come to Sunrise Highway in Baldwin tomorrow and I will have on my pink bikini and we’ll take a picture by the hot dawg truck.”

What’s the shot I can convince Gary that the best Mother’s Day gift he can give me would be a picture of him with this lunatic?

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Filed under absurdities, current events

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