Lately I have had to dress up more often than usual. Usual being hardly ever since I work at home and the dog could not care less if I stay in my walking clothes and don’t shower until 4:00.
Between the holidays and a few parties I have had to rummage through my closet and find things to make myself presentable.
With the change of season I am never up to speed on the stocking fashion. One year it is no stockings – even if it is 20 degrees below, the next opaque, then ultra sheer. I am simply leg covering ignorant. Thank goodness for Riki who always tells me which way to go with this. (Riki is my stocking consultant).
Today, after she was kind enough to tell me that the black semi sheers I had on were all wrong, she informed me that texture was ‘very big’. Great, I thought, I am sure I have some texture in my stocking drawer. Mind you, this is the only neat drawer in my house because I never go into it. Sadly, no textures in there, unless you count the sheers with all the little pulls in them.
On top of the drawer I found the package above. I don’t remember the last time I even went into Daffy’s let alone when I bought these. I looked at the package and said to Gary, “For Leg Use Only”? What does THAT friggin’ mean?
Perhaps it means, don’t take these out of the package, pull them over your face and go rob a convenience store.
The funniest part of that is the list in the top left corner: silken sheers, with spandex, control top, sandalfoot, pantyhose.
Hey Joe, before the heist make sure you get me sandalfoot, that reinforced toe gives me a headache. And I like the feel of the silken sheers but make sure it has a little spandex and control top, they give me that simulated facelift look and I don’t want to look too old for this job.
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i could cry but i don't have time 