Tag Archives: daughters

Born on the 5th of July

You start out with 2 kids, and if you are lucky, they bring in 2 more that feel like they are your own.

Enter the lovely Becky, the tamer of the sweet and salty Danny. She appeared in the depths of covid and folded right into our quirky little fam with the grace and humor that was needed to not only tolerate us, but be amused and embrace us.

A few things about Becky. First, she is everyone’s dear friend. Truly. Everyone considers her their inner circle, evidenced by the amount of times she has been a brides maid. What touched me so much about this was the similarity to my mom… after Elaine was gone everyone told me she was her best friend. She would have LOVED Becky.

Second, she is grace under fire. She may not see herself that way, but we all do.

But most important is her ability to let it go and give you a pass. Example: her birthday last year and I forgot! When I brought it up this year she said, you got a pass because you had covid. Really? who does that? Your future mother in law forgets your birthday months before your wedding and you give her a pass? Gotta love that. (Hopefully this day late post will fall under that category too… don’t worry we FaceTimed yesterday, I’m not that lame)

Wishing the happiest of birthdays and the most spectacular of years to our boy’s girl. We could not love you more.

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This is 35!

Son #2 turns 35 today!

It is hard to put into words the way I feel about this young man. We have the unique circumstance of a long family history that transcends the customary in-law relationship. In fact, it is hard to remember a time when he was not in our family.

Watching a teen grow into an adult is such an interesting exercise. Not needing to parent that young person is liberating. However, our situation is a hybrid. Corey is not above reaching out for advice or assistance, and in turn he has also become of enormous counsel to us.

Confidence with humility is his differentiator. Pardon the othermother brag here, but there really is not much he does not excel at. Jana will tell you it is kind of annoying, actually. But we know how proud she is to have him as her husband. Top on that list is his desire to keep it real and hover under the radar of praise and attention.

If I were asked what was the one thing about him that fills my heart the most, it is dedication to his people. His family, friends and co-workers know they can always count on him. No questions asked. I mean, how many young men can head a major restoration project for his in-laws’ business and not ever lose his cool? (this one was definitely a test for everyone, and they all passed with flying colors).

Simply put, life with Corey is just better. In every way.

Happy 35, my sweet girl’s boy. May Archie cut you some slack today and may the universe (and Iko) shine down upon you today and fill your heart with all the love you deserve.

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This is 36!

Really? Let me recalculate! Yeh, 36. Crazy.

Jana, one day you are a toddler and the next I am watching you raise one. Toddler 2.0 who sort of makes you look like you were easy. Luckily he is equally as adorable and endearing. The thing that blows me away is your infinite source of patience. Your ability to distract and stay calm, to engage and comfort, all without ever losing your cool. Sure once in a while you have to put yourself in time out (yes I am aware we don’t use that anymore). But for the most part, you are unwavering. In the face of so much, you still remain chill and continue to delight in being a mom. And in loving the life that you and Corey have built.

So THIS is 36! You are killing it.

You are the girl who knows who you are and is comfortable almost everywhere. The best wing woman to have at a social gathering, you make making friends look easy. You have the quickest wit of anyone I know, always hitting the mark and making me laugh. You are loved and respected in your professional life, where you keep the same sense of humor you use at home. You show up for all of us in a way that makes me prouder than anything on this earth. It is no wonder the skies have chosen to smile down upon us for your birthday.

In our family we cherish a few important things: family, music, laughter, hard work, hard play and showing up. You check every one of those boxes, my sweet daughter. I am so lucky to have you.

Yep, I would say it was worth the first 3 years of your life. You are proof that challenging toddlers grow into stellar adults.

Love you to the moon, Petunes. Happy 36!

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Lucky 7

There are so many photos from this wonderful celebration seven years ago today, but a quick scan this morning turned this one up and it struck me. This is the essence of my girl and her boy.

To be in their presence is to feel the ease of true partnership. They just get each other. They are a team. Sure, there is the deep love that you dream of for your child, but more than that, they support one another no matter what the situation. Mutually. And on solid ground. And support all those around them in the same way. They show up, for each other and for all of their people. In turn, people show up for them. Truly a gift of a way to live.

Life has been quite the roller coaster for these two, but luckily, they love roller coasters. They have weathered it all with grace, humor and a love for life that has made their marriage strong and so much fun. A zest for adventure, lack of drama and the ability to pivot has made their life truly extraordinary.

Here’s to all that the last seven years has given our family by being joined with the Glasers. And thank you to Jana and Corey for marrying us all together. We love our tribe more than we can say.

Happy Anniversary to Archie’s parents!!! Lucky 7 indeed.

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This is 34

You are 34, right? I keep having to recount by doing the year you were born math and we all know what Mom Math looks like.

Well, this was a big year, wouldn’t you say? As a recruiter, you have learned how to add working mom to your resume. Huge skill set! But you have absorbed the role into your life so naturally. Not easily, but with the grace and whole heart that you do all things.

The best part of you becoming a mom for me has been the moments when the light bulb goes on for you. Like this one:

In the long list of our daily correspondence about the happenings in our family and all the “how did he do last night?” texts, this one sticks out for me. There are moments in a parent’s journey that they can’t ever fully forget. Nor should they. A restaurant name shakes loose a particularly trying time. We revisit that time and have a knee-jerk reaction.

A non-parent child will sort of get it at best, or roll their eyes at worst. But after squeaking out a puppy, you completely understood this.

And yes. I loved that moment. And all the other moments, both wonderful and trying, in which I get to witness your parenting experience.

Life is surely different for you now. The new road has been a challenge. And yet every day you find another moment to prove what a wonderful mom you are. And share how much joy you can derive from even the smallest experience.

The juggle is real. Watching me do it may have prepared you for it. It is not always pretty but it is never boring.

I will end this post with my best parenting advise. No condition is permanent. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Use your intuition. Never say ‘my child will never ____”. Love every moment, even the shitty ones. And never say no to a grandparent when they offer to babysit!

May 34 bring you more joy than pain, and the ability to adjust the volume of each to make life the best it can be.

Love you to the moon, Petunes.

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This is 33

Thirty-three. How about that. Well, that went fast. (Ok, maybe not really.)

But here we are, with you being all grown up. Like really all grown up. And me, well, you know, it’s a hit or miss thing depending on the day. And yet you are still entertained by me, so that’s good.

Last week when you told me under no circumstances could I have a cup of coffee at 5PM, someone asked when you became my parent. I had to think about it, but then I said, “Oh, about 5 years ago”.

Somewhere around then the roles shifted ever so slightly. You started stepping in when you saw me circling the drain. Or maybe I thought it was ok to let you witness that dance. No, I don’t really think you are the parent, I still have plenty of parenting left to do. But I do trust your judgement probably more than anyone else. And with the utmost of grace, you have pivoted into a role of family authority. The handler. The fixer. The plan maker. All with very little effort and always with the joy and confidence in which you do most things.

Sure, you will still utter an ‘it’s not fair’ or ‘its fine’ now and then. Who doesn’t? But the way in which you have grown into this force to reckon with, while still being there for all who need you, is so much fun to witness.

You take friendship very seriously. That is evident by your side hustle as wedding officiant. You are committed to having a good time with equal gusto. You plan the adventures and never leave out a detail.

But of all your wonderful qualities – and there are so very many – the one that gets me the most is your commitment to family. Knowing you are not only always there, but Always There, is the greatest comfort in life. I could not be any more proud, and certainly any more excited, about watching you grow this family. The role of mom is going to come very natural to you, of that I am sure. Always know that I am on your shoulder, at your back and only a phone call or quick drive away when you need me. Just like Gram was for me. And believe me, you’ve got this, even when you think you don’t.

Happy three three, my sweet girl. May you always be surrounded by love. And keep radiating it back into the universe.

To the moon.

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The family equation

Or what we like to refer to as Mom Math.

On this day, 4 years ago, in between 4 nor’easters, after 6 years long distance, these 2 joined together and grew our 2 families into a single kickass clan. We could not have chosen a better 2nd son (and partner for our daughter) if we tried. Now here we are, after 2 bizarre years, with the world still spinning out of control, waiting to add 1 more to this family equation.

We love you 2(½) people more than we can ever say. May you have the most beautiful anniversary day, celebrating all that truly matters in this world. And may you always know that we will all be your shelter in the storm. No matter what.

Big love, kiddos.

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This is 32

32… we have now entered the time when I am no longer twice your age. Does this make me younger? Yeh, I know, still a geezer.

But there is a big shift. I thought about this last night as we were leaving for an outdoor show. Your text: “What are you wearing? It is going to get cold.” At that moment I thought, is she asking me this as my child to see what she should wear, or was she being parental and making sure I would be dressed properly?

Maybe a little of both?

Parenting is a lifetime endeavor. For 32 years I wake every morning with my heart full knowing you are there. Wherever there is. The beauty of this stage is knowing that you have my back. Always.

How cool is that?

We have come a long way from your last birthday (how nuts was THAT day?). The world has shifted, but you remain my constant. Of the all the gifts that we have been given through this insanity, the strength of our bond has been one of the greatest of all.

You inherited my lens. I love that more than you can ever know. But I watch how you make it your own. Your humor is just a little sharper. Your patience is greater. Your love of the offbeat is a little more sophisticated. You show up and when you do you make everything so much more fun. I love watching you kick ass, have fun and make sure that all your people are taken care of.

Thank you for being my Technicolor when the world starts to become a little too gray. For making me remember why becoming a parent was the most important decision I ever made. And for always making sure I know how loved I am, every single day.

To the moon and back, Petunes. May 32 be an easier ride than 31.

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This is 31

This is my girl in her natural habitat. I love everything about this shot. Her husband in the background. The glow from the stage. The wristband. Those curls. Her smiling eyes. And yes, of course her signature concert tiny hand.

Birthday 31 came crashing into us today. That is the lovely thing about birthdays, they don’t give a flying F that the world is upside down, they just show up, give us a nice little dose of normal and make us adjust, be grateful and enjoy the moment.

Which got me to thinking that those exact qualities are the essence of Jana.

She shows up… always. It is one of her best qualities. She shows up when you need her and even when you didn’t realize that you did. She works her butt off, helps those in need, volunteers, raises money, gets the job done… whatever it takes.

She doesn’t care that the world is upside down, she still finds a way to be close, give support and make me laugh. Every day. Her normal.

When I start to go down a road of crazy, she makes me adjust, take a breath, keep my eye on my own ball, consider the endgame and enjoy the moment.

You have both learned well and taught me even better, Petunes. Could not love you more if I tried.

Happy Bizarro birthday, my sweet. Promise to make it up to you on the other side of all this. With music. And funfetti!

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This is 30!

Thirty. T-H-I-R-T-Y. 3-0! (Indulge me, I don’t do this very often anymore.)

How can that be? I was (almost) 30 when I had you! Which means you have been hanging around for almost half my life! From here on in I will have lived in a Janaworld longer than a Janaless one.

Thank goodness. For I could not imagine a day without you in my life. That smile. That laugh. That eye roll. The way you only have to give me a look across the room that says it all. You ground me. And parent me back. Tricky. And yet you still lean when you need to. And I love that just as much.

When I set out to start a family, I never thought about this part very much. Who does? You think babies and toddlers and teens. But the part about growing full humans who become the people you most want to be with? I doubt that crosses the mind of many young parents.

So here we are. And I marvel everyday at your courage. Your strength. Your persistence. Your sense … way more sense than I ever had at your age. (Or maybe even now, for that matter.) You know your mind and you hold fast to what you believe in. That is a gift. Don’t ever doubt your gut, we both know it is the wisest voice of all.

Mothers and daughters. That can be one crazy roller coaster. But for us, it is like we are the eye of the hurricane. We hold tight in the middle of all the chaos, and step out into it together when we want to have some fun. Hold tight to that feeling … the one where you take the risks but keep a cool head when the unexpected happens. That is where all the good stuff happens.

Here’s to the next decade. May you continue to know how to pivot with grace. May your dreams come true. And when they don’t, know I will always be right here to catch you when you fall.

LU2 Petunes. More than life itself. Happy Birthday.

 

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