I’ve been slimed!!


Ewwwww! No really, I am so not kiddding! EWWWWWWWWWWW!

I just let the pup out for the 300th time to pee. We have these racoon-proof garbage cans (why am I suddenly blogging about garbage so much?) and I noticed that the cleaning lady did not lock the handles. The last time this happened the poor little guy got into the can, ate what I am pretty sure was 2-year-old halloween candy that my son threw out (in a Ralph Lauren pillowcase I might add) and then promptly dropped dead in the middle of the street in front of my house. (the racoon, not my son).

That said, the only humane thing to do is make sure the handles are locked at night. So – uch, I can hardly write this one – when I went to lock the handle, squeezing it with my left hand…

there was a friggin slug on it and it slimed me!! I am not talking don’t be such a girl it can’t be that bad kind of slime. I am talking washed my hands 2x and it still would not come off sort of thing. Seriously, this was some kind of cosmic sticky snot I had here on my hand. After the first washing I thought it was off and that there was just a little soap left on my hand. Of course I went after Gary as if I had cooties and kept trying to touch him. (I can be such an infant sometimes).

He was not amused.

I finally had to scrub it off with a towel (not a Ralph Lauren one, thank goodness).

This all begs the question: would you rather have a dead racoon in the middle of the road in front of your house, or be slimed by a slug and not able to get it off?

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12 Comments

Filed under homeowner, humor

12 responses to “I’ve been slimed!!

  1. RGP

    This makes me wonder…if salt can kill slugs, can it get the slug slime off your hands too?

    As for the choice? I’ll go with slime please. I’m in Brooklyn so it would more likely be a dead cat, rat or pigeon that I’d have to scoop up. No thanks.

  2. SALT! how could i forget about that. i am sure it would have worked. so slime trumps dead racoon.

    good choice.

  3. Liz

    Uh…is there a third option? Like none of the above?!

  4. Neal Shrier

    I could cry but I because I just got slimed? Must’ve been the old candy korn that did rocky racoon in, huh?

  5. seems there are alot of dead things in the road in the hood this week. saw a bird and a flat squirrel today on the walk. it was lab heaven for mel, she loves a little road kill now and then

  6. Ell

    Here we go…while removing a clump of dryer lint from the garbage…a rigor mortis (sp) mousie…have the picture, if you would like to see!!!

  7. good ew. send the picture and i will post it!

  8. Slimed.

    Why?

    I don’t like the death of any creature that has been caught in the web of urban growth. I’ve seen it here where I live because me and a friend watched, as we stood talking in my apt. complex’s driveway area, a raccoon calmly walk past us. It was quite surreal. I knew he’d been driven out of his natural habitat from a nearby, newly-built sub-division that had previously been a wonderful, inside the city, untouched area with prairie grass, thickets and probably lots of wildlife.

    Like Mr. Smith in THE MATRIX told Orpheus, “Humans are a virus, they spread from area to area, sucking up every resource.”

  9. wow howie. welcome. pretty intense comment. although saddened by the death of any living creature i am pretty sure that my house that was built in 1939 did not recently displace the poor guy. as far as the human virus, well let is just say that is a little to matrix for me. nonetheless, all points of view are always welcomed

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