You wake up one morning, a good 30 lbs over your normal weight (don’t judge), wash your hair, take off your jewelry and nail polish (your version of natural childbirth) and you walk into the hospital to have a baby.
That is pretty much how it went. A stubborn breech baby, Miss Jana preferred the less violent (for her, anyway) exit of a c-section.
You planned for just about everything… and nothing at all.
You did not plan for how amazing your life would become because she was in it. Or how your heart would both fill and break at a moment’s notice when her life took its swings. You counted fingers and toes and thought you were good to go.
And then one day you turn around and she turns 27! Today! And you look at the woman she has become and think, damn if I did anything right in this world it was her (and you too, Dan, but it’s not your birthday). Sure, we all gush about our kids, and love them unconditionally. But, as they age up the parenting piece is so very different. It’s a sidelines thing. A bite your tongue and hope and pray endeavor. And then they start to impart THEIR wisdom to YOU!
So, for your birthday, my sweet Petunia Blossom, I will share some of your wisdom:
- In the history of mankind, no one has ever calmed down when you say ‘calm down’.
- They now take credit cards in taxis, it’s not 1985. (in my defense I was pretty sick that day)
- Sometimes you just have to smile and nod – and shut the hell up.
- Repost is the best instagram regram app.
- You don’t need to solve it, you just need to listen to me complain. I will solve it myself.
- When you take pictures on your phone, you should always shut the sound off.
- Don’t eat this [fill in the blank], it has too much salt.
- Madewell has great gift items.
- This is how you do a face swap video.
But most of all you taught me how to be silly and love life, even when it can be ‘annoying’. It seems you have been doing this your entire life.