Inside out signage

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This sign hangs in the window of a restaurant in town. From the outside, it reads ‘Organico’.

From the inside… anyone see what I saw?

As I was taking this shot I said to Gary, ‘Hey, doesn’t this sign look like a penis with…”

And he finished my sentence “… one dropped ball?”

At which point the waiter – who I did not realize was standing behind me – said, “You are not the first person to notice that.”

Must be a full peninsula of Magnets for the Absurd.

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Time to Cry Tuesday – Control

Unexpected-ThingsI saw this quote on Facebook, only to find out that it was plagiarized from Queen of Your Own Life. I made it a point to find the original graphic. 

Today is a reminder of the fact that out of nowhere life can change on a dime and you have only two choices – get through it or let it it do you in.

Action… reaction. That certainly ties up control in a neat little box.

Courage. Humor. Grace.

Indeed.

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Wine Makes You Smarter (ish)

wine-makes-you-smarter

My daughter saw this sign as we were crossing the street and rushing to get to a show the other night. As always, the family keeps walking while I take a shot because… well, because they are tired of standing around on the street and they get a kick out of watching me speed walk to catch up to them.

I took the shot, instagrammed it, fed it to Facebook and went about my business.

Without proofing. Me! The queen of proofing outrage. The woman who gets a thrill out of finding typos in books and on menus.

“Wine makes you smarter”

– Aristote

You know, he was Aristotle’s not so smart younger brother with a drinking problem.

Cheers!

Thanks to my instagram friend @kortetz and Facebook friend Nancy who both caught this before I did. 

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To my kids on mother’s day

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This day is a tough one for me, and you guys too. But as a friend told me yesterday, ‘now we are ‘the moms’, so I am trying my very hardest to make today about what we have, not what we have lost. We all know that is what she would have wanted. And we all know she is here.

So, here goes.

I could write all the cliché things about motherhood and you could both roll your eyes about what a sap I am and laugh at how I cry at Applebee’s commercials. But I think after all these years you fully understand the way I feel about being your mom. Instead, please indulge me with ‘the list’ you have heard ad nauseam your entire lives:

Avoid drama.

Don’t be an asshole.

Misery gives happiness context.

The fork goes on the left!

Keep your eye on your own ball.

NEVER blow your nose at the table.

Put the seat down.

But we ARE rich.

No means no. Maybe usually means I am playing it out till it fizzles. Yes is always well thought out.

Bathroom humor is not only acceptable, it is encouraged.

You NEVER know what will come out of my mouth but it has hardened you to deal with any situation.

There is nothing like a good cry and an even better laugh.

Be all you can be (and be careful).

Singing Kung Fu Fighting is, in fact, the best way to start a morning.

Whatever it is, call me first. I am the most likely candidate for getting you out of it whole. (with the help of AlNel if necessary)

LU2.

I love you more…

and always will.

Thanks for growing up to be the amazing people you are, the ones I want to be with the most. Thanks for flipping the parenting roles when you see me driving myself off a cliff, for learning how to truly love with your whole hearts, and for tolerating this crazy woman with such grace.

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This mom is dope

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Or is she just a dope?

This was taken at the same kid’s play as fashion dad. This place was blogger heaven. And what a perfect mother’s day post #1 (#2 will be the sentimental one where I refrain from parent bashing).

First, let’s run by the definitions of dope.

There is the Webster version, surprisingly puts drugs above stupidity:

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I like to think that the last one is really ‘the poop’,  but hey, I tend to lean towards bathroom humor.

Moving to Urban Dictionary with their many versions of the drug definition, culminating with this one which is my favorite:

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Good old Smokey is one angry dude but he uses Gary’s favorite term, rat’s ass, so I love him x 10.

Then there is the definition that something dope is something cool (I am guessing this is the one she was going for). But we can’t rule out the fact that this mom could have just been… a dope. With the need to let everyone know.

Wait! Could she be married to fashion dad?

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Daddy Fa fa fa fashion

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Today’s dad has so little time in his day. But that does not mean he has to rush off to his kid’s play without looking his best.

This guy has got it goin’ on. Pairing a Long Island Carpet Recycling black long-sleeved T with those classic – never go out of style – half camo, baggy shorts is a big win. The black kicks with the matching black no-show socks are the obvious choice for spring footwear.

But nothing says, ‘hey, I am the ultimate family man’ like finishing this ensemble off with a Coach diaper bag.

It is so very clear to me that he is on the phone with his wife to find out where she put his penis.

Ok, that was mean, I just had to go for the obvious laugh. Admit you were all thinking the same thing. And don’t start getting all dads are equal parents and there is nothing sexier than a dad taking care of his kids on me. That was my life in a big way and we wouldn’t have done it any other way.

I just had a more gender neutral diaper bag.

 

 

 

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Hi. I think I’m back… again

hi

Funny how something that is so good for you can sometimes be the thing you avoid the most. Think leafy greens, exercise and getting enough sleep.

Or, in this case, blogging.

This used to be the place I went everyday to share. Stupid stuff, fun stuff, not so fun stuff… time to cry stuff. It grounded me. It was my constant. It was the receptacle for all things Amy. The good, the bad and the ugly.

I have tried to come back here more than once, but I guess I just was not ready.

Funny thing is that I still think in blog posts (and t-shirt quotes). Things will happen, I will see stories that I have plenty of commentary on. But committing fingers to keyboard has been a tough one. The worst part is the hundreds of ridiculous photos I have taken and never shared. Or shared briefly on instagram without my warped analysis.

What has changed? I am hitting a milestone. One that has me simultaneously more rocked and infinitely more grounded than I expected. So it seems as a good time as any to try to commit again. It is all part of the package of time to ground.

To write.

To make you laugh.

And cry.

Because when you don’t have the time, is when you need to make it the most.

Sometimes you need to go home again. Whatever home means.

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